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November

Dear November,

You saved me. Or rather, you helped me save myself.

I spent the year marking time as it passed, and I was still shocked to see it go. I began to fixate on all the things I had not done. All the ways, I had allowed the movement of time to hijack my dreams and goals. I begun to allow the poison of regret to seep into my mind. My fear has always been to look back at any part of my life with regret and frustration. But unlike most people, fear has never motivated me. Instead I end up stuck in place, observing my life through a window of glass. Ever the observer. Never the doer.

Here is a thought that you gifted me with, November: ‘The things you say about yourself can be taken back and moulded into something new.”

So I take it back. I take back that fear does not motivate me. I take back that I am an observer and not a doer.

I set a goal. A small, tiny goal, that I could do every day. And I did it, as much as I could.

November, it may not seem like such a big deal to you. But to me, this gift you gave me, this gift of believing in myself?

It was everything.

Until next time,

Yours,

Naliaka.O

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