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Rain and Summer

To the Anniversary. 

July

This is an art poem

A poem about art

As all poems actually are

August

Love art

Hate art

Sad art

Joy art

All art

September

All poems

Penned

Spoken

Sang

OUT. 

This summer marked ten years.

It has been ten years since my world changed and my life trajectory shifted. I feel like I am not the person who I could have been. Softer in some ways. Harder in others. Lost at times where I used to feel so sure. And confident in matters I always doubted myself.

It has been ten years since I self-diagnosed my depression and walked into a counsellors office, looking for help. I was too scared then, to take on any of the long term solutions she suggested. But somewhere in the midst of it, I heard home, and that’s where I headed.

It has been ten years since I wandered by myself for hours, looking for answers in nature, within myself, in conversations with God. A deep well of sadness and brokenness that I was convinced I could never recover from.

It has been ten years since I started to work back from there. I didn’t even realise at the time, how much I was doing by just clinging on. By starting to talk to the people in my life, and professionals who could help. I underestimated myself.

Friend, if this is you. I can not stress enough, how proud you will be of yourself for just holding on. Right now, you see your life as a pile of frustrations and failures. Maybe you see yourself as too tired. Not tired, exhausted and drained. But friend, the small things also amount to fighting. Braving the day. Sharing your feelings. Seeking growth. You are HERE and therefore you have been fighting all along. And WINNING.

Happy tenth anniversary to the new me.

I can’t wait to celebrate yours.

See you in December.

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